A Handful of Dust
by Vitani FyreWolf
Summary: Post-series. Robin and Amon have been traveling all over Japan, however, they cannot escape the knowledge of what they have left behind them. Will facing their destiny end up destroying them?
1. Disquiet

A/N: Here goes nothing. This fic takes place after the series, so I'd suggest not reading if you haven't seen the entirety of the series and would like to remain unspoiled. It's going to be long, at least the way I theorize it, and will trace the goings-on with Robin and Amon. (And later.) This is a reflective introductory chapter – actual events will happen later. Have fun. Please tell me if you like the idea.

A Handful of Dust

"And I will show you something different from either

Your shadow in the morning striding behind you

Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;

I will show you fear in a handful of dust."

- T.S. Eliot, "The Wasteland"

Chapter One: Disquiet

            The evening crowds swarmed through the city streets in the normal hasty manner. No one bothered in their rush to notice a slim girl glide by, sticking near to the wall, head slightly lowered to hide deep green eyes. Dusty golden hair drawn up in an unusual style on either side of her head peeked over the high collar of a long, dark red-tinged coat. She never stayed in the same direction for too long, always leaving to walk on other streets. No one ever noticed, for in mere instants she was gone, leaving anyone who had bothered to look to wonder if she had ever even been there. 

            Robin turned her head slightly, casting her gaze over the shadows near the walls for a countless time, encountering nothing, as usual. Her lips pursed in annoyance. She knew he was there, he was always there, but she still wasn't able to glimpse where he was following. They always traveled like this. She'd walk out near the street; Amon would follow, managing to stay completely separate from her as to not create any links between them. If they were being looked for, a passing glimpse of one of them might not stick in any searcher's mind, but both of them together certainly would. So they walked apart, only rejoining when they stopped for the night, wherever that might be, or if they needed to talk, and he would let her know. She had once convinced him to let _her _be the one following, and though she tried valiantly, she had lost him before a half hour had passed. He had appeared beside her then, and told her to retake her old position. To his credit, he didn't comment on her lack of tracking ability. 

            Life was strange since the night after Factory's destruction. They went as far as they could – but not out of Japan. For some unspoken reason, they didn't leave Japan. It would cement the fact that they were running away, and Robin knew running away was not something Amon was accustomed to. Not to mention there was always the thought of what they were leaving behind them. What they should be changing. But they never spoke of that. Robin and Amon didn't speak all that often, but when they did, they talked for a long time. They didn't need to speak, much of the time. It had been a little over a year since they had fled. Robin would turn seventeen soon. They went from city to city, never staying longer than a few days. Many would have presumed them dead at Factory, but there was no evidence for it, so they knew they would be looked for. Robin was still listed as dangerous, no doubt. Even if the search wasn't active, the STNJ had a long reach. They never spoke of the STNJ. Well, that wasn't strictly true. They spoke of some of the people there – Michael, Miho, Haruto, Doujima. Master. Nagira. Touko was a subject they both strictly avoided, just as they avoided talking about STNJ itself. If they spoke of it, they would have to come to terms with it. With having to do something about it. Robin thought of it much of the time, the Witches still in fear, and sometimes Amon looked upon her with a tight, burdened expression. They thought about it. But it was never spoken. They weren't ready to confront it yet.

            Much was never spoken. They had grown very accustomed to each other, and now their presence together was comfortable. They would share hotel rooms or shelter. When their money supply got low, they'd take temporary jobs in whatever city they happened to be in. Robin found jobs easily, people were taken in by her, and she could spend a few nights as a waitress or any other sort of help. This was when the difference became clear to her – it felt strange to not have him around, and she wondered when he had become such a permanent part of her everyday life. While she did that, Amon sometimes found a job as well – he sought out some important figure and gave his services as a bodyguard for a short while. He still carried a gun, not the Orbo gun, of course, and Robin never questioned him about it. She knew there was always the tension regarding her and the control over her power. As for himself, his power still had not developed. She wondered if it ever would, and if it did, if he would stop carrying the gun.

            She looked up slightly. It was getting darker, and they hadn't been traveling by night as of late, due to how long they'd been away. They were fairly safe, and it was much more pleasant to walk during the day. Time to find a place to stop for the night. Robin took a few more turns before encountering a small but well-kept looking inn, and leaned back against the wall and waited. In moments, Amon appeared out of the darkness beside her. 

            "Here?" 

            "Unless you don't like it." She responded to his question in her soft voice, turning to look at him. He had long ago ditched his STNJ coat, and now wore more casual clothes, although they were still dark and loose-fitting. He only ever wore long sleeves, and again had a heavy coat, although it was made of less noticeable material than his old one. Robin hadn't needed to change her wardrobe much – she wore lighter black and grey dresses, although they all reached her feet and went up to her neck, but she had refused to give up her coat. Amon hadn't forced her, it wasn't an STNJ coat, after all, and it wasn't all that eye-catching.

            He nodded. "It's fine. Are you tired?"

            "A little." They moved inside, away from the view of the people on the street. Considering how long they had been gone, and how far away they were, all the caution was probably not necessary, but they had grown so accustomed to that life that they went through the actions automatically. 

            The inn was warm, and an older man at the counter welcomed them with a friendly voice. Amon got their usual kind of room – with two beds. They had been in rooms with one, before, it really didn't seem to matter anymore. They moved around each other with ease, each fully attuned to the other's mannerisms. Robin knew that even asleep she'd be able to tell where in the room Amon was, and especially if he'd left. More than once she'd been awakened by his leaving for whatever reason, and not because he'd made any noise, but because of the loss of his presence. 

            They didn't try and advance their relationship. He was very protective of her, and was surprised to find signs of her showing the same protectiveness of him. Neither said anything about the importance of the other. So nothing happened. Having a relationship would also force them to confront things they had left untouched. But lately, the tensions concerning the things they never spoke about had risen. The monotony of the life was getting to them, especially to Robin, who could never forget what had happened and what it had meant for her. He noticed, but waited for her to break the silence. He was just her 'warden', after all. Even though she let him make most of the decisions, and never did anything without his agreement, they both knew where they went was up to her. 

           She was older now, and took things more in stride. Their lifestyle had let her learn to adapt to any situation, and now, as she looked at him moving around the room, she knew this learning time was over. Instinctively sensing the change in her demeanor, he glanced back at her, receiving a slight shake of the head in response. The end of the day was no time to start in an entirely new direction.

            She sat on her bed and took her hair down from it's wraps, and he took a brush out of the bag he carried with their few belongings and clothes and handed it to her, knowing she brushed her hair out before sleep. She accepted it with a soft thanks and took it and her simple cotton nightclothes and slipped into the bathroom to change. Embarrassment around each other had long ago left them, and their routine was as comfortable now as any they had kept before their lives had changed.

            When she came out, he was sitting at the end of the bed, waiting to discuss their morning plans. 

            "Are we leaving this city tomorrow, or staying?"

            "I think we should leave," she purposefully avoided getting into the subject of going back. "We've been here a few days. Do you want to stay?"

            "Not particularly. We can leave. We can get a start among the people going to work."

            She nodded, and he slipped under his covers, turning off his light. "Oyasumi."

            Doing the same with hers, Robin rested her head on the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. "Oyasumi."

            Tomorrow, this would change. 

            Tomorrow, she would break the silence.

            They were going back.

            She was ready now. 


	2. The Gathering

A/N: Well, they responded to my e-mail asking for a section pretty quick and made a WHR category here, so YAY, there is actually somewhere we can go to look for our fics now. Anyway, part two. Moving right along, aren't we? I never update this fast. Of course, I've never kept this urge to write for so long, either, so that might be an indication. Thank you very much to those of you that reviewed, it makes me happy to know that people enjoy my idea. I'm trying to make this different from other fics. I hope this chapter doesn't let you down!

A Handful of Dust

Part 2: The Gathering

"Who is the third who walks always beside you?   
When I count, there are only you and I together  
But when I look ahead up the white road 

There is always another one walking beside you   
Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded 

I do not know whether a man or a woman

—But who is that on the other side of you?"

- T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

            Amon looked over to the young woman standing by the hotel window, patiently awaiting the decision he knew she had planned out all night. She hadn't wanted to speak of it during the evening, and he did not understand why, but knew her well enough to know that she had her reasons, and it was best to not question them when it wasn't strictly necessary. It only served to unsettle her, and that never accomplished anything. Even now, she was putting it off – her pale hands gone almost ashen from being clenched tightly on the aged windowsill. He frowned internally. They had avoided it for over a year – but it wasn't unavoidable for him, or so he believed. She, however, was tied to it, and since he had taken the duty of keeping the world safe from her (and keeping her safe from the world) then he would have to go as well. She would run the danger of being hunted. As for him, it was unknown whether he was listed as dangerous or not. 

            Their bodies would not have been found. This would have meant to the STN two things – that they were completely destroyed in the flames, or that they remained alive. Their status would be listed as unknown, and their presence – if they returned - would be undoubtedly be noticed. 

            Robin set her teeth firmly and turned to face him, her normally calm eyes - like deep green water – glinting with a strange determination. Amon lifted his gaze to meet hers. The Devil's Child was making her move.

            "Amon."

            "I know. But, Robin, do you realize what it means?"

            She straightened, almost offended. "Do you think that I am not aware of it?"

            "For the moment, I don't think anything. What exactly do you intend to do?"

            "You should know that. The witches have been oppressed – I feel their pain, that's why I was created, so I can stop it…"

            "By stopping STN. Starting with the STNJ."

            There. It was said. The name they had refused to speak for so long. Robin didn't even flinch, and Amon smiled inwardly with approval. She would have to be strong.

            "If that's what it takes."

            "Even if they are protecting innocent people from danger?"

            "That's not all they're doing, Amon!" Robin's voice lashed out, not quite a yell – she never, _ever_ yelled, which left him to wonder if she even could. "They're killing innocents, too! It's not just the witches harming people, it's ANY witch they find, and -"

            His hand rose in a placating manner and she cut off abruptly, dropping her eyes in self-punishment for losing her composure. Amon crossed his arms over his chest and regarded her with a measuring look. "I know that, Robin. I'm not the one you have to convince. We don't know who the head of STNJ is now, or what they might do to you."

            "It wouldn't be Kosaka?"

            "We don't know that, Robin. And even Kosaka is bound to SOLOMON's decisions. He might not initiate a hunt for you on his own, but if he was commanded to…"

            "I'm still going."

            "I'm not trying to stop you."

            "I can defeat any hunters they send after me."

            "That isn't true."

            Robin started at this comment, and turned to stare at him. Amon returned the stare calmly. She didn't know what to say – wasn't she the strongest? Wasn't that why he had almost hunted her before? Then why…?

            Amon sighed inwardly. She had grown up, but there were still some things she did not realize. He leaned forward, locking her eyes with his own.  "SOLOMON has many hunters, Robin. And while it's true that not a one is as strong as you are, they have battle experience. You are not used to fighting. What if they sent several hunters? Have you ever fought a group of witches before, Robin? No. It was always one, or several humans who couldn't use a power back. You could be taken under. And even if you do win, then the more power you show, the more will be thrown back at you."

            Robin dropped her gaze from his, and turned away. There was a silence, an awkward silence that they had not shared for a long time. Eventually, without lifting her eyes, her whisper broke the moment. 

            "She called me 'hope', Amon."

            He looked at her for a time, and then responded. "Yes."

            "I have to do this."

            "I know."

            "I-" her voice caught, and she placed an arm against the wall and leaned her forehead against it. Amon stood and moved over to her, and she shifted her head from her arm to his shoulder, trembling slightly. "I don't know how I'm going to do it, Amon. All I know is that's what I'm here for. I know the danger, but.. I'll figure it out. I'll have to figure it out. You don't have to come, if you don't agree."

            He sighed. "I don't know how I feel about witches anymore, Robin. But I've been around you far too long to let you do this alone. I'm coming. What that means, I don't know yet. I suppose it depends on you."

            "Still suspicious of me?"

            "Not of you. Of your blood."

            It took much less time to return than they had hoped. When they fled, they wandered all over the country, not going in a straight line, but to get back, they took a direct route. Between buses and trains (they had always preferred to walk before) they found themselves standing in familiar streets before they had a chance to really think about it. Not that a year would have been sufficient time, but longer would have been nice.

            Amon shifted the strap of their supply bag on his shoulder, before glancing over to where Robin stood, shading her eyes against the early morning sun. "You ready?"

            She nodded, and they both turned down a road at the same time.. a road they had both traveled many times for different reasons. It was the road to the Nagira Law Office.

            They had discussed while traveling back how they were going to proceed, and it was agreed that it was safest to start by asking Amon's brother's help. He had helped them before, after all, and they knew he was fond of Robin. Harry's has been another option, one they had quickly scratched because of how close it was to the STNJ and because the people that went there were often affiliated with it. After being gone so long, there could be plenty of new people they would not know about. Besides, Nagira was used to keeping things hidden.

            The office looked the same as it had before, and Robin could see Mika through the window, on the phone with probably yet another dissatisfied customer. The office hadn't changed, and she doubted Nagira had either. With a nod from Amon, she slowly opened the door.

            Mika's head turned as she rapped out the customary greeting. "Welcome to Nagira Law Office, how may I….. you!" 

            She dropped the phone and flew out of her chair over to them, ignoring Amon, who had moved closer to Robin as though to protect her from the other woman's wrath. However, there was no such thing forthcoming. Her tone was scolding, but her tightly pursed lips kept betraying her by slipping into a relieved smile.

            "I _knew you'd be back! I __knew it! He never said anything about it, but there was no way you'd stay gone! But it's been so long, I expected you a lot sooner, I had almost forgotten that you even existed-"_

            "Is Nagira here?" Amon interrupted, and received a cold look for the effort. 

            "He is, fat lot of good that does. He never actually does any work, and here you are to give him an excuse to continue slacking. _Really._ But I suppose he'll want to know you're back. Wait here."

            The energetic young woman strutted out of the main office and into Nagira's, hands already on hips as she went to reprimand his behavior. Robin hid a smile behind her hand, and if Amon hadn't had his usual composure, he would have rolled his eyes. It hadn't changed at all. 

            In mere seconds, Nagira bounded out of the door, skidding to a halt and staring at the two before breaking into a wide grin. "Well, well, well, looks like I was right after all! Couldn't kill her after all, ne, Amon?"

            Amon gave him a look. "There was no reason to. And right about what?"

            "That you survived, of course! I can't believe some of them thought you had died in that fire. I mean, a fire witch, dying in a fire?" This seemed to remind him, and he turned to Robin, still smiling broadly. "So, you decided to come back! I'm glad."

            Robin bowed, a small happy smile on her face. She liked Nagira, and he had been kind to her during her time of hiding. Returning to the office provided some sense of normalcy, even though her time there had never been normal. He also did not know about the truths that had been revealed in that room in Factory, so she did not have to worry what he thought of her. And the others… some thought they'd lived?

            "But enough of that," Nagira said, waving one hand. "You never come here unless you want something, Amon. What is it this time?"

            "Information. And a place to hide."

            "So… basically the same thing you wanted before. Except… for both of you?"

            Amon nodded, and Nagira returned the gesture. "Alright, then. What information do you want?"

            "What's happened to the STNJ?"

            "I'm afraid I can't help you right away on that one. I'll have to go searching, but I don't usually make the STNJ one of my priorities."

            "Can you call Michael?" Robin interrupted, and both men turned to look at her. She continued without pause. "He knows the most information about anything, and he's always willing to share it with me. He did last time."

            Nagira nodded approvingly. "That one – he was the only other who thought you lived. It'll save me a lot of trouble, anyway. But you can trust him?"

            This time it was Amon who answered. "Michael has never had any particular sense of duty towards the STNJ. He's forced to be there, and really his favorite part of the job is finding information. He won't feel inclined to keep their secrets from us."

            "And he's our friend, Amon." Robin gave him a sharp look. He didn't respond.

            Nagira watched them for a moment, before nodding and returning to the office. "I'll see if I can reach him. I still have the contacts from when we were working together before."

            Robin turned to look at Amon, but he ignored her, waiting silently for Nagira to re-emerge from the doorway, which he did several moments later.

            "I got him. He nearly hit the roof when I told him you were here. I instructed him to not let anyone else know – you would prefer that, right?"

            Amon nodded, and Robin cast her eyes downward in acceptance. They couldn't trust anyone fully yet.

            "Very well, then. He says he'll come here tomorrow, that's safer than you guys walking around out there more than you need to. He'll give you the information you want then."

            "Michael can leave the building?" Robin asked, baffled.

            "It would make sense," Amon said calmly. "Zaizen is the one who placed restrictions on him, and Zaizen is dead."

            "In any case, you'll have to wait until tomorrow. You can get settled in. And just consider yourself lucky that I never ask you for return favors."

            Robin was silent as she followed him to the familiar room. The first step had been taken.

            It had begun.


	3. Delay

A/N: I'm updating this at an extremely unusual pace for me, which is making me feel weird ^.^ But oh well! I like to explore the WHR world. My writing slipped in the last chapter, and I apologize for that. I hope it's better here. I'm trying to write as much as I can before I get crushed by second-semester high school senior projects. Yeah, our school doesn't believe in letting us relax after we get accepted to college. I know I'll be too busy to write much then, so I'm doing what I can now! Again, a thanks to all of those who reviewed, especially to Genia (a breezy era) for being thoughtful and telling me exactly what she liked, so I know what I'm doing right! I really do appreciate it. Ah, and this fic is now archived at Usuyami no Sekai, owned by the lovely Kala Mekiv ^.^ Go visit!

A Handful of Dust

Part Three: Delay

"What shall I do now? What shall I do?"  
I shall rush out as I am, and walk the street  
With my hair down, so. What shall we do to-morrow?  
"What shall we ever do?"

- T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

            Cold morning light pierced the air of the dim room, prompting it's inhabitant to stir drowsily. Blank grey walls enclosed the area, which was empty except for a bath, a rust-stained sink, a bed, and an old futon that lay upon the floor nearby. This was made neatly, and the only indication of the room's being in use was the slim girl curled under the thin bed-sheets, one pale hand pulling them to cover her eyes from the unwelcome light. Realization set in, and she shot up quickly – too quickly, and the hand moved to her forehead as she tried to get her bearings.

            Robin scanned the room, finally coming to rest upon the futon. Amon had left sometime earlier, and she hadn't noticed, which was unusual. Perhaps she was more tired from the traveling than she had thought. She dressed quickly and sat upon the edge of the bed again, reflecting as she went through her morning ritual of putting her hair up. Michael should be arriving soon, with news of the STNJ. No matter what news it was, she would have to deal with it. These were her friends, once… she'd liked to believe they still were, but it had been a long time. People changed along with circumstances.

            Nagira looked up as the door opened and the young witch glided in, moving to the coffee machine and pouring herself a cup before turning to him. "Ohayou."

            "Ohayou. Some day today, huh?" He leaned back in his chair and grinned. 

            She returned his gaze, nonplussed. "Maybe. We don't know yet."

            She sipped her coffee in comfortable silence, watching the people on the street through the window. Nagira observed in puzzlement, before lurching forward and resting his elbows on the desk.

            "You didn't ask."

            She turned slowly, a hint of confusion in her unique eyes. "Ask what?"

            "Where Amon went." He sighed, as though it should be obvious. 

            "I already know." It was the same as always. Amon would get restless, and go off to look for information, even if there wasn't any to be had, or any they wanted. He was not used to feeling helpless, not even now, and walking the city streets seemed to calm him. 

            "He told you?" The man's voice expressed disbelief; it wasn't like his brother to let people know what he was up to.

            "No."

            If anything, the confusion in Nagira's expression deepened, and then something seemed to click in his mind. "Wait, are you-"

            "Don't ask that, Nagira. Please."

            A hesitant rap at the door cut off any forthcoming comment, and giving her a look, he moved to let Michael in. Robin straightened, looking almost nervous, as the STNJ's hacker entered the room. There was nothing said for a moment, as the two friends stared at each other.

            Michael hadn't changed much, his hair was a bit longer, and he still wore baggy cargo pants and dogtags, but they were different clothes than she had seen him in before. One thing that hadn't changed was his eyes – the mischievous eyes that had always held more spirit than any of the others at the STNJ. Michael retained a youthful energy that the others seemed to have lost – except Doujima, and even she was not able to sustain it as long. He had been her first friend there, and they had spent many evenings eating donuts, drinking coffee and talking about whatever came to mind. She was glad he was the first one who came. He walked more easily, with a lighter air – she imagined it was because he was not forced to remain inside as he was when she knew him. 

            He smiled, breaking her line of thought. "I knew it."

            Robin returned the smile, glad he was the one who spoke first. She wondered if everyone would say that when they saw her again. "Michael. You -"

            He moved towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders, smile momentarily gone as he studied her face. "You okay?"

            She nodded, jade eyes grateful as she responded. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

            The grin returned. "Hah, never believe what Doujima says! That's always held true. You are alive, and Amon too, right?"

            "Right…" she replied, trying to comprehend his statement. Doujima? What did she have to do with it?

            "Where have you been? Both of you. I mean, I understand why you couldn't come to the STNJ, but to not even tell us…" he trailed off at the pained look on her face. "But I'm sure you have your reasons. And you wanted to see me…"

            Nagira coughed. "Why don't we go into the office? There are couches in there, easier to talk while sitting."

            Michael turned to look at him, blinking as he tried to remember. "Amon's… brother, right?"

            "Half-brother, but what's the difference. Let's go inside."

            Once settled inside, Michael began to tell Robin of what had happened in the days since she disappeared. In return, she told him of what they had been doing, of which there wasn't much to tell. Robin went silent when Michael reflected on something Miho had said – that they weren't to hunt witches who had not harmed anyone, except when SOLOMON expressly commanded it. He apparently did not know the extent of what had gone on in that room in Factory, and did not understand her behavior. The young witch averted her eyes, hoping he would change the subject. 

            The change came not from Michael, but rather from Amon's arrival, and Robin gratefully ran to open the door for him. 

            "Robin. You're awake early." He commented as he shut the door behind him. 

            "Michael is here, Amon. He has news."

            "I can fill him in later," Michael interjected, having stepped up to the doorway. He nodded at Amon. "Yo. I really shouldn't stay much longer; they'll start to wonder if I'm gone too long. Is there anything you wanted to know before I leave?"

            "Who is the head of STNJ?" Amon asked, returning Michael's gesture.

            "Kosaka. I would have thought you knew that much." His voice held a teasing quality.

            "Do… do you know what Robin is here to do?" Upon looking over at the girl in question, he saw her lower her head, indicating that she had not yet told him.

            "No.." Michael answered quietly. "But I think I've figured it out. You wouldn't have come to join again, and you two aren't the type to drop in for no reason."

            "Then…"

            "I know you want it gone, Robin. You were always different, really. Hard to figure out." 

            She looked up sharply at this statement. "You never seemed confused about me."

           He grinned. "Good acting. Anyway, I don't really know what's going on, and you don't have to explain it to me now. You should talk with the others, too."

            "Where… are the others?" She was hesitant to ask. With Michael, she knew he wouldn't have many problems with her and what she was there for. But with Miho, and Doujima, Sakaki… and Kosaka… it was different. Still, she knew she had to face them, if she was ever going to move ahead.

            "Karasuma and Doujima are finishing up a case in another part of the city. The witch had already killed several, they finally got him. Killed him. We don't use Orbo anymore. We couldn't… Karasuma-san… she told us about that." He looked faintly disgusted, and Robin allowed herself a faint smile. That was an improvement, anyway.

            Amon, however, was still suspicious. "That's all that's there? The same people?"

            Michael shook his head vehemently. "Oh, no! We're the only ones that stay. After what happened to Factory, SOLOMON doesn't trust us. So they send us a new hunter every so often, then take it back and send another. To keep them loyal, I suppose. But we can't get close to them. They're always suspicious, only talk to us when they're working. The last one we had was just sent back –he was an older guy, pretty good telekinesis. So we're in the middle of a rotation now, I imagine we'll get a new one soon, and who knows who they'll be."

            Robin looked shocked. "New… hunters? All the time? They have that many?"

            Her companion didn't look surprised. "SOLOMON's always had it's secrets, and it will go to far ends to keep it that way."

            Michael watched them pensively, before speaking again. "Karasuma and Doujima will be finishing up the case for the next few days, so you had better stay put until then."

            "Can…" their eyes turned to Robin. "Can.. we meet them? Can I meet them? If they're killing witches, then perhaps…"

            "They're killing witches that hurt people, Robin." Michael told her firmly. "You have not harmed anyone innocent. It will be fine, and.. really, they'll be happy to see you. We have missed you."

            All the young woman could manage was a soft "thank you."

            "I'd like to at least go to Harry's, to see Master.." she said after a moment.

            "No." Amon said quickly. "It's far too out in the open. You'll be seen by someone."

            "Won't she be seen by someone eventually anyway?" Nagira joined them. "If she's trying to bring down the organization, they _will know about her. So why hide?"_

            "Because they could send hunters after her!"

            "They _will send hunters after her, now or later."_

            "I'd prefer later." Amon's voice was tight.

            Robin had gone silent during the exchange, and Michael spoke softly to her. "At least wait until the others have come back. Then you can meet them at Harry's. We'll all go there. He can't say anything then."

            Amon had overhead, and his eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.

            She smiled in thanks. "I understand. I'll wait."

            "Don't worry, I'll keep you busy!" Nagira said cheerfully. "You can do what you did last time you were hiding. You were quite useful, as I recall, I'm sure Mika can find something for you to do."

            Michael chuckled, and Robin gave a slight pout. 

            A few more airy comments were made, and Michael left, promising to stay in contact. Amon started to walk away, stopping by Robin and speaking quietly to her.

            "Don't risk yourself without thinking. Don't go putting yourself in danger."

            She watched his back until he disappeared around a wall, her eyes soft and sad.

            _I'm sorry Amon… but I'm afraid I won't have a choice…please, don't be too angry._


	4. Comrade's Trust

A/N: Hey… another update! Whee! First off, thanks… mainly to Misora, who I've been having fun talking to, Kala, for hosting my fic, and to Danascully, who is the only person I know who is a big fan without ever watching any of the series ^.^;;; (We're working on a remedy to that.) And to everyone who reviewed, I'm still quite glad people like this. Okay, it's about to actually start moving. Dun dun dun. It can get dark from after this chapter, so 'tis a warning!

A Handful of Dust

Part 4: Comrade's Trust
    
    _"'Do you know nothing?  Do you see nothing?  Do you remember_
    
    _'Nothing?'___
    
    _I remember___
    
    _Those are pearls that were his eyes._

_'Are you alive, or not? Is there nothing in your head?'"_

            - T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

            The rusty lock gave a protesting screech as Robin forced it shut, chaining the bicycle outside the office. She removed her helmet and shook the hair out of her eyes, still not used to returning to the old routine. Mika had put her to work running errands right away, and Nagira had only grinned teasingly as he brought her the old bicycle she had used before. It wasn't hard work… it was just… so _normal_ for her situation. She felt like she should be doing something that had some meaning. 

            If her discomfort was bad, then Amon's was much worse. Always, even when they had been on the run, he had to feel like he was doing something of use – scouting around cities, watching out for members of the STN, whatever he could think of. Michael had returned once, to talk and to let them know that Karasuma and Doujima were heading back. Neither knew about Robin yet. Amon had spent some time speaking with Michael, and then had gone into his routine of disappearing from the office. He always returned slightly more relaxed, but still unsettled.

She knew he was looking for people sent by SOLOMON. There was a chance that spies had been sent to monitor the STNJ because of the previous events, and he worried over it.  He only did this when Robin was out doing jobs, she could tell he didn't even approve of her being outside in disguise, but he had no valid argument, so he remained silent about it. She even wondered if he watched her while she did Nagira's work, for when they were both in the office, she was always in his sight, as if he suspected she would leave to do something foolish. She knew this, and though she didn't entirely understand it, she stayed away from any discussion involving the STNJ or Harry's, so as to not further discomfit him. Robin was slightly disturbed at how this reflected their previous attitude of ignoring things that needed to be said. 

            The contact with the others was inevitable, so Robin had not been able to see a reason why Amon was acting in such a way. Nagira had whispered to her that this was a complete turnaround from Amon's old life, and he wasn't adapting easily to it. She, however, was the most constant aspect that he'd had in his life for a long time, so a lot of it ended up being centered on her. She had understood a little better then, and had made it easier on Amon by staying close by, smiling more often than she was used to. It hadn't seemed to work, as the older man seemed permanently tensed for some coming storm that only he could see.

            Robin moved quietly through the office and into the room at the top of the stairs, gratefully slipping into her looser, more comfortable clothes. The biking outfit had felt strange when she first wore it, and it had gotten no better with the passage of time. When she returned downstairs, she was unsurprised to see Amon sitting in a chair near the wall. He did not outwardly react to her presence, but the young witch could feel the tension. She steeled herself and strode towards him, determined to break the silence.

            His eyes remained gazing at some remote spot on the far wall as she came to a stop in front of him. Her tone, when she spoke, was measured and even. "Why are you doing this?"

            His answer came so quickly that she realized he must have been expecting her to ask for some time. "Because I need to know if it is safe."

            She folded her arms tightly to herself. "It is not safe, Amon, it can never be for us. We can't pretend like we can do this without harm."

            He shifted slightly in the chair, placing his feet flat on the ground, hands on his knees. "It does not cost anything to be wary."

            _This isn't about wariness. You know that. _"I am wary, Amon." Her voice was soft, never rising in the entire exchange. 

            "You have not shown that."

            "I've not had a chance to show it." This time it was she who avoided his eyes. "But… I can't be cowardly. I have to face what I have brought upon myself."

            The resulting silence was so heavy that she felt compelled to meet his gaze. When she did, there was something there that she could not comprehend. "How?"

            It took her a moment, and when she found her voice, she spoke rapidly. "I don't know, but I can't just wait for something to happen."

            "You're going to be reckless, Robin. And you'll get hurt."

            _If I do, then it won't matter anyway. _"Sometimes you have to get hurt."

            "You'll get killed." This he grated out, face drawn, eyes like chipped granite. Although she did not show it, Robin was taken aback by his fierce reaction.

            Not knowing what else to do, she bent her knees and lowered herself in front of him, placing her slender hands over his large ones that rested on his knees. He was so used to her that he did not flinch, and her liquid jade eyes softened a little when she saw the tautness in his shoulders ease. But when he raised his eyes from their hands to hers, she was severely shaken. He looked at her as though he had never known her. His body responded to her as someone so familiar, but his eyes told her different. _Who are you seeing, Amon? Do I confuse you, too?_

            Her throat had gone dry, but she whispered hoarsely as her hands pressed his. "I… hope that's not true. I'll try – I promise I'll try to keep that from happening."

            Amon did not respond, merely turned his eyes away from her again… but he did not try and move his hands away, and for that she was grateful. He was not shutting her out entirely. She began to move closer when the door opened, and Nagira strode in. 

            "Hey, you two-" he cut off abruptly when he saw them, mouth open.

            Robin rose calmly, catching his eyes in a warning look. "What is it? Has something happened?"

            This seemed to snap him out of it, and he looked quickly between the two before deciding it was wise to not comment and risk angering the formidable girl. "Oh, yeah. Michael called. They're back."

            She stiffened, and Amon closed his eyes in near-pain. 

            Robin turned her head, a stray lock of hair falling into her wearied eyes. She watched Amon for a moment, and spoke without moving. "Is…. is he still on the phone?"

            Nagira had stayed silent, but the curiosity on his face was plain. "Yeah."

            "I'd like to talk to him." 

            He shrugged. "Sure, do what you want."

            She nodded, brushing a hand against Amon's shoulder as she moved towards the doorway. It may have been her imagination, but she felt his head tilt a bit against her arm at the light contact. If it was true, then the conversation would have bothered him more than it had her… and that was something she didn't like to think about.

            The phone lay face up on the desk, and she picked it up, speaking firmly. "Michael?"

            "Robin? Yo." 

            "Karasuma and Doujima… they're there?" 

            "Yeah. They're willing to see you. Well, more than willing, I'd say. They really want to see you. Haruto was kind of mad at me, though…" his sentence trailed off into a rueful chuckle.

            She blinked, eyebrows arched in confusion. "Mad at you? Why?"

            "Because I didn't tell him you were here. He was here the whole time, but I had to wait to tell him until I told them. Just because he'd be tempted to act on his own and go find you guys, and I got the feeling that Amon wouldn't have appreciated anyone drawing any attention to you." 

            She sighed inwardly. "Yes."

            "Kosaka is heading out soon to do some work with the police, we thought we'd go then." 

            Robin frowned. "You don't want him to see me."

            "I thought it best if we wait and talk first. He IS the boss, you know. STNJ is his life. You are a threat to that." He did not mention his own life.

            "I'm not just a threat to him." _All of you… you must realize that what I have to do… it might…_

"We're different. We can live without it. We can learn to, anyway. Not that we want to. Either way, you were once one of us, and even though you are opposing what we are a part of… I don't know, Robin. But it feels like you still are. To fight you would be too strange." The young hacker's voice was pensive, with a tone that indicated that he had thought about this for some time.

            _Comrade's trust._

            _To hunt your own comrade…___

_            There was no comrade's trust between us._

"So… I meet you at Harry's?" Another reunion. It was like going to a funeral.

            "Yeah. I already called Master, he's closing the restaurant so we can have it to ourselves. Will Amon…"

            "Amon knows what has to be done." _He just doesn't like it._

"Okay. There's no sign of the new hunter, as of yet, which may or may not be a good thing. It's good because we don't have another person to work around, but it could be bad… they could know about you."

            Unbidden, an icy wave of fear washed through her. "They wouldn't already… would they?"

            "I don't know.  Better not to dismiss the possibility, though. Be careful on your way over."

            She nodded, before realizing that he could not see her. "Ah… hai."

            When she left the room, she found herself facing Amon. The older man looked weary, as though he expected some disaster and had reconciled himself to it. Robin felt sick with guilt at knowing she, and what she was doing, was the cause of his distress. But still, in true form, he bore it silently, shoulders set and eyes determined. She knew that his state was only obvious to her… having spent so long observing and being around him. To anyone else… they would never know.

            This was evidenced by Nagira, who stepped up beside them, oblivious to his brother's mood. "So, we're off, then?"

            She responded with a slight incline of her head, her eyes staying on Amon, who nodded once and walked away.

            Harry's looked the same as it ever had. One of the most unique looking restaurants she had ever seen, and one of the first memories she had after arriving in Japan. She was surprised to see Master at the door, waiting. He held it open for the three of them, a kind smile on his face and relief in his eyes as he looked upon the young witch. Once inside, Robin embraced him, glad to be reunited with the man who had served as a father in her hardest times.

            He smiled, pulling back to examine her at arm's length, much like Michael had. "I wonder.. how many times we are going to have to do this."

            She returned the smile, half gratitude and half apology. "I'm sorry, I-"

            "You're still too thin." He cut her off, casting a look at Amon over her shoulder. "And you haven't changed. Good to see you back."

            Amon responded simply, but Robin was happy to hear some of the stress go out of his voice. He, too, had always been treated kindly by Master. "Thank you. They are here?"

            He nodded, moving to lead Robin into the restaurant. "Yes, they are. And I can get you something to eat, and an espresso…?"

            Robin had just opened her mouth to accept when her words caught in her throat. Miho, Haruto, and Yurika sat in a corner near the bar, heads bowed in conversation. When she entered the room, Miho's head rose, sparking the others to look up as well. There was utter silence, and then Yurika Doujima pushed back her chair violently, standing and fixing her eyes on Robin's. 

            "You're here."


	5. Line of Fire

A/N: And the chapters just keep movin' along. Thank you to all who reviewed, I love to hear feedback. Okay. Here goes nothing. The rating will have to go up soon.

A Handful of Dust

Part 5: Line of Fire

_"After the agony in stony places   
The shouting and the crying   
Prison and place and reverberation   
Of thunder of spring over distant mountains   
He who was living is now dead   
We who were living are now dying."_

- T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

            "You're here."

            Stillness hung over the restaurant, the echo of Yurika's words lingered in the air. No one dared to move. Robin's eyes were wide and unsure; Amon's head was tilted so that his hair hid his face, masking his expression. Everyone else followed Robin's gaze towards the standing girl. The quiet seemed to shatter when the girl broke into a wide grin, dashing from where she had been sitting to embrace her former comrade warmly. 

            Robin blinked in shock, looking over Yurika's shoulder to see Miho smile gently, nodding once. Sakaki threw his hands into the air and rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked upward too. Once the pale girl realized what had happened, she hid a smile of gratitude and hugged her friend back, the one who could always be counted on to be unpredictable. 

            "Say it, Doujima." Michael had appeared from the hall, a teasing look on his face. Robin blinked, baffled, as she watched Yurika turn and glare at the hacker. 

            "Say it!" If anything, his grin widened, and Yurika stuck her tongue out at him before giving in.

            "Fine, fine! I was wrong! But… it's good I was wrong, ne?"

            "Don't try and save face." 

            Miho started chuckling quietly. She had risen to her feet during the exchange, and moved towards the two other women, offering Robin a much gentler hug than Yurika's. "Ignore them. We really are glad to see you safe." 

            The emerald-eyed girl returned her smile, whispering soft thanks. "I'm glad to see you all got out safe…"

            Miho nodded, and turned to Amon. "Hello, Amon. Good to see you alive." 

            His eyes lifted, and he spoke for the first time since entering the restaurant. "Hello, Karasuma." Her smile was knowing, and she seemed to approve of the changes she observed in his demeanor. 

            "I think we should just assume you never die when we think you do." Yurika broke in, grinning broadly. If Amon had been a normal person, the look on his face would have been one of complete exasperation. But, as he was Amon, his only reaction was to stare at her levelly, which, of course, didn't faze her in the least. 

            "I'd like it if I could be able to stop getting into such situations." He commented. He hadn't looked at Robin, but she turned her head anyway, lips pressed tightly together. 

            Haruto still hadn't moved from his spot, and he raised a hand to them, motioning for them all to return to the table. "Where _have_ you guys been, though? If you've been alive all this time, why did you never tell us?"

            Robin took her customary place at the bar, Miho and Amon sat beside her. She didn't look at Haruto as she responded. "I'm sorry, but we couldn't." _We had just needed… to get away. As far away as we could. But still… it pulled us back._

Miho hushed the hunter with a look. "You don't need to tell us everything."

            Robin shook her head, honey strands swishing in the air. "I need to tell you why I am here. Why… we are here."

            "Michael told us that."

            She was beginning to wonder how many times she could be shocked in one day. _You'd think I'd have gotten used to it. _They had all _known_, and yet they were still treating her so warmly? She looked into each of the faces surrounding her, trying to understand.

            Miho… the responsible one, the one who tried to take care of everything, even when it was impossible. Her hair was slightly longer and less strict, so a few strands fell into her eyes, which seemed to smile more than they had before. Yurika had told Robin that when Amon had disappeared, Miho had tried her best to replace him, running herself ragged trying to match his skills. She and the older woman had argued before, but never seriously, always working together when it mattered. Robin had come to understand some of Miho's underlying bitterness, because of her fading power. Miho's power… she wondered if it still existed at all. She looked slightly better, but still world-weary… all of them had the look of people who had seen far too much. She seemed more accepting, perhaps her power really was gone, and she had learned to fight without it. Robin wanted to know… but couldn't ask her in front of the others, for it could still be a sensitive subject with the older woman.

            Yurika had changed the most, in her outward demeanor. Even through her banter with Michael, it was obvious now to the others the serious light in her eyes, which was no longer disguised. They had always thought she had cared for nothing except herself… until they learned of the secrets she carried. Now that she wasn't using a façade, this composure was clear, although Robin was glad to see that she hadn't lost her fiery personality. It had always made life a little easier, having Yurika there to break the ice. The others now treated her with more respect than she used to receive, even with Michael's teasing.

            Haruto looked the same, in outward appearance, but his attitude was different. He was more confident, calmer, his actions more collected and not as impulsive. From the mature look in his eyes, Robin knew he must have come into his own as a hunter, no longer the fumbling rookie that they looked out for. He had used to be slightly envious of her, because of her ability, but as he looked at her, it was with the same fondness that the others carried in their eyes. 

            _I wonder…do they see me as a changed person, or as a walking memory… an image of long-gone times that can no longer affect the future?_

She took a deep breath, gathering herself to speak, and in that moment she looked across the bar at Master. He was working, as he always seemed to be doing, even when there were no customers to serve. He did not seem to have changed, but Robin doubted she would even realize it if he had. The cup of espresso slid gently in front of her, and she smiled at him, glad that his returning smile had not changed like the others'. She took a small sip and faced her friends – were they friends? She had told Amon so –, unsure how to begin.

            Amon, on her other side, moved to face the bar, resting his elbows on the smooth counter and pressing one arm softly against her back. Strength seemed to flow into her, and she settled herself and began to speak.

            "I know you have questions, and you deserve answers."

            Miho opened her mouth to protest, but Robin silenced her with a slight shake of her head. "First off -" she nodded at Haruto, "Where have we been? Well… everywhere, I suppose. In Japan. After… _that_, we just started going and didn't stop."

            "What did you do?" Yurika asked, all traces of gaiety gone from her voice.

            Robin blinked, as if the other woman's voice had startled her back into the present. "Worked, when we needed to. We hid."

            Micheal crossed his arms in front of him. "They looked for you. Didn't know if you died. They asked us where you where -"

            "SOLOMON did?" Robin cut him off.

            " – Yeah. But we didn't know. I don't think they believed us when we told them that."

            "Well, why should they?" Haruto leaned back in his seat, a pensive look on his face. "We had just destroyed our own boos. Not like we seemed the most trustworthy."

            Yurika frowned. "And it was they, too, who wanted to get rid of him."

            Amon's deep voice broke into the conversation. "Aa, but it was their decision, so they would feel safe in that. The fact that this was the decision of employees makes them nervous."         

            Miho spoke softly. "Because the same thing could happen to them."

            Amon didn't turn from the bar. "And is."

            Everyone fell silent.

            "Is it?" Miho asked quietly.

            Robin's voice was barely over a whisper. "That… depends on you."

            Miho turned her eyes away, as if avoiding the comment, and placed a hand on Robin's arm. "You're too thin, Robin. Are you sure you are okay?"

            Yurika snorted, cerulean eyes skeptical. "Can't be easy, hiding all the time."

            "But she did a damn good job of it."

            Everyone jumped slightly, and whirled to see Kosaka standing in the doorway, an indecipherable expression on his face. Haruto jumped to his feet, ready to defend their reasons, when his boss shot him a withering look. "Sit down, Sakaki-kun. I'm not angry with her."

            Robin cast her eyes downward, seeming to withdraw into herself, as though expecting an attack. Amon straightened, the warmth of his side reassuring against her back, jaw set as he looked at the new head of the STNJ. Kosaka returned their looks passively, before settling his gaze on the silent young woman. "Robin-chan."

            She raised her eyes slowly, and a corner of his mouth quirked into a slight smile. "Can I speak with you?"

            "Hai, of course." 

            Amon looked as if he was going to protest, but she quieted him with a soft touch on his arm. 

            Kosaka nodded once. "Michael!"

            "Hai?" The hacker came to attention.

            "Go back to Raven's Flat. Check for signs of SOLOMON's activity. All of you in one place outside of work could have attracted notice. I'm disappointed in all of you for not realizing that. You know the rules."

            Robin flinched, and Michael left the restaurant quickly, shooting her an apologetic look. Miho looked upset, and Yurika exasperated. Amon stood. "I'll go with him."

            Kosaka regarded him coolly. "I have no power over you anymore, Amon-san. Do as you like."

            "I will." With that last comment, he strode out after Michael.

            Robin keenly felt the loss of his support, but she understood that he finally felt he could do something that was, in his mind, productive – searching out danger. She followed Kosaka into the hallway. 

            "Were you…" she began.

            "Listening? Yes. I knew they were up to something, and when that happens, they usually end up here." He did not sound angry. Perhaps the past events had served to mellow him.

            "And… you're not angry with them." Her voice was questioning.

            "Oh, I'm angry, right enough. But I've had to get used to it. Not to mention you're here – which was a surprise." He faced her, eyes measuring.

            She met his gaze evenly. "I'm not used to you being so calm."

            "I've changed. And you? You must have, to be doing what you are now."

            Robin shifted back, uncertain. "You know..?"

            "I _was_ listening, remember?" He sighed, rubbed his head with one hand, and looked at her. "I'm not going to lie to you. I am not going to pretend I support you in this. This is my job. This is all I have. You cannot bring down the STN."

            Something in Robin's eyes hardened. "How do you know that? Will you attack me?"

            "No." His voice was gruff, and he shook his head once. "I could not order an attack on you. But the other branches will, including SOLOMON. I'd be surprised if they haven't started already."

            She protested slightly. "We've been careful…"

            "It doesn't matter. If SOLOMON wants to find someone, they will."

            She let out a breath, moving to look to the side. "So, you're going to try and stop us."

            "Robin, you cannot bring it down. But.." He left off, face tight.

            Her gaze returned to him, curious. "But?"

            "Maybe… you can change it." Kosaka saw the surprise on her face and explained. "I don't like what was discovered more than anyone else. I don't really know what to think. But I can't hunt you, so I can't stop you. Even if I did tell them to… they wouldn't."

            She shook her head. "How can I change it without destroying it? I don't think that's possible."

            "It's going to have to be."

            Her head snapped up, eyes narrowing, but before she could speak, the phone rang. Kosaka flipped it open and spoke. "What is it?"

            Amon's voice resonated from the other end. "They're here. SOLOMON has deployed several hunters in the city. Michael picked up the info –     it had been leaked."

            Robin went rigid, cold fear trickling down her spine. Kosaka's brows furrowed, and Michael broke in. "They're all high end hunters. We're in trouble, or rather, Robin is."

            Kosaka nodded once. "Return here as quickly as possible. We'll figure something out."

            "Yes, boss." The line cut off.

            Robin regarded him coolly. "You're helping me?"

            He began to walk back into the room. "I cannot condone the hunt of someone who has done nothing. We have to tell the others."

            She did not move from where she stood, and he looked at her quizzically. Her eyes were dark in the dim light. "I'll be there. I…. need to think."

            Kosaka nodded and entered the restaurant. When Robin heard them start to talk, she slipped down the hall and outside. 

            She stopped to get her bearings, and then turned towards the center of the city. Ducking her head, she hurried along, searching out the hunters.

            _This is my duty. My destiny. I cannot risk them because of it. I can only risk myself. That is all I have._


	6. Descend

A/N: I'm baaccckk. Well, there have been a few things going on, and I haven't been able to write, but I am now. Mainly thanks to Misora, who takes her title of "Vitani's slave-driver" quite seriously. Haha, I love you, Misa ^.^. Thank you again to all of those who reviewed, especially those of you who were kind enough to tell me why you liked it ^.^ It's nice to know what I'm doing correctly. Anyway, we continue on. 

A Handful of Dust

Part 6: Descend

_"I think we are in rats' alley  
Where the dead men lost their bones."_

- T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

            Evening was falling, and the darkness that began to creep up on the street behind her caused Robin to suppress a shudder. She hadn't walked alone in _so_ long. It felt… strange.. and almost frightening to not have the steady presence of Amon nearby. If she had thought it over more, she might have stayed and let him come along… he would be angry, and that in itself was something she would do much to avoid. But no… it wasn't possible. She had no choice now – Amon did not have to be a part of this, and she had no intent to involve him any more than necessary. Her destiny was not his responsibility. 

            _He's your warden._

            She quelled the voice in her mind with a small shake of her head. _I won't let him suffer because of me… he has done that enough. If he deems me unworthy to live after this, then…_

_            You'll let him?_

Would she? Before she would have, before she found out that there was something she was supposed to do. Something only she could do… something that gave her seemingly… _wrong_… existence some justification. _I will do what I must. Then I will let him do what he feels he must. _

The thought made her sick, but she promptly shoved the feeling down and tried to ignore it. This was no time for emotional trivialities, she had gotten herself into this, and she would have to find a way out before she could even let herself think on what was to come. If anything would come. _It has to._

            A faint current crackled against her senses, and her head snapped up, jeweled eyes moving swiftly to detect any movement, mind working to feel any power being used nearby. _A lot…more than I thought._

            Ducking into an alley, she breathed deeply and waited for a move to be made. It had been her choice to come into this… and she _could_ take care of herself. She would have to, because anything less would be the ruin of her plans. She hadn't been given her power just to die before she could use it…

            The sense of power grew stronger, and she fished the glasses out of her pocket and readied herself. This would be her victory – there was no alternative.

****

            "Where is Robin?"

            Amon's demand broke through the continued conversation at Harry's, bringing the eyes of all of the STNJ to rest on him. He stood stiffly, his mouth tight as he returned the looks of his former comrades. Michael stepped out from behind him and began to look around, as though expecting Robin to pop up from under a table. The others, startled, did the same, before turning to look at their boss. Kosaka's brow furrowed.

            "You didn't see her in the hall? She said she was going to think there…"

            "She was not there." Amon's voice was hard, and he barely lifted his eyes for another scan of the room.

            Sakaki stood, his chair clattering backwards. "Amon, she must have -"

            But Amon was already moving, hand sliding under his coat to settle on the hilt of the gun he always carried. His normally passive eyes held a hint of fury, the soles of his shoes making an unusually loud sound against the floor. The air seemed to _move_, leaving the others standing in shock for a moment before rushing after him, catching up just as he reached the door. 

            Doujima spoke up as they ran toward the STNJ car, managing to keep up even in her high-heels. "Do we know which way she would have gone?"

            "The center of the city." The look on Amon's face allowed no questions.

            He moved to get behind the wheel, but Miho caught his arm, dark eyes serious. "I'm driving, Amon. I don't know what you might do."

            She had to fight to keep from stepping back instinctively as his icy gaze met hers, before he tossed her arm off and slipped into the passenger seat. Miho sighed lightly in relief – even through years of working with Amon, she had never seen his control worn so thin. When he looked at her, the air itself had seemed to grow… _hostile._ Uncomfortable. She hadn't liked it.

            With Amon, Miho, Doujima and Sakaki inside, the car sped off down the same road Robin had taken.

****

            The first hit seemed to come from nowhere, but Robin had been expecting it. A simple psychic blast, she sidestepped it easily and whirled to send her flames in the attacker's direction. A solid-looking man in a brown vest shrieked in pain and threw himself to the floor, but she wasn't left any time to watch as another attack came from behind.

            _Fighting… killing… I hate it…but I have to do it…_

That one went down, body half charred.

            _I have to do it. That's what I've always thought. I have to do it. What sort of things have I done with that for an excuse?_

Then… two, at once. Something sharp grazed her arm and she gritted her teeth, turning, as the earth moved under her feet and she lurched to the ground. Panic flooded through her and she shoved herself back upright, spinning to the side as _something_ blasted the place where she had been moments before. Why were there so many? She hadn't even been aware there were so many hunters at SOLOMON's disposal…

            The next attacks came in a blur, and she was unable to distinguish the different crafts as she concentrated on deflecting as many as possible with her wheels of fire. Even so, some hit their mark, and her body became a mass of pain as she continued moving, blocking and hitting, dodging and burning, closing her eyes to the agonized screams of those she managed to take down. Blood seeped from a forehead cut, blurring her vision slightly, and her heart began to flutter with dread.

            "_SOLOMON has many hunters, Robin. And while it's true that not a one is as strong as you are, they have battle experience. You are not used to fighting. What if they sent several hunters? Have you ever fought a group of witches before, Robin? No. It was always one, or several humans who couldn't use a power back. You could be taken under. And even if you do win, then the more power you show, the more will be thrown back at you."_

            Amon's voice rang through her memory, and shame fueled her to fight on. Hadn't she been so confident? Hadn't she known she would win? Then why… why was each step harder and harder to take?

            The breath abruptly left her body as an attack hit her chest, and blood leapt into her throat. She felt herself begin to fall, and reached out with her arms to cushion herself against the ground. If anything, the pain intensified as her defense dropped, and she let out a small scream in anguish.

            _My first scream in a hunt… it is usually the hunted that screams, is it not?_

Her fingers began to scrabble on the concrete, desperate for some way to get out of the situation, but her heart had already realized that escape was impossible. Figures silhouetted against the moonlight closed in. So many of them… was she that important? Then all at once, it didn't matter… all that mattered was that the fight be over, so she could do what she needed to…

            _I will do what I have to! I will not be one of the fallen!_

            She gritted her teeth and rose to her knees, green eyes blazing with an otherworldly light, ignoring the pain and the delayed response of her injured body. Everything focused on one point… destroying those who sought to harm her, who sought to stop her… the flame gathered, bright… bright… hot… in sudden desperation the hunters moved in on her, and their combined power ripped her clothes and skin, dragging pained gasps from her bloodstained lips, but her mind did not comprehend the agony. One of her hair ribbons had been sliced through, letting some of her hair stick to the side of her face, catching in her eyes. 

            _Amon__… Amon… I'm sorry… don't hate me…_

And she let the power go. It seemed almost to spin, whirring through the figures, filling the air with last shrieks and cries of horror as the fire consumed them at a horrific rate. Soon, all that was left was the smell of burnt flesh and cloth, and embers in the alley.

            And the body of a young, pale woman, covered in blood streaks and ashes, her hair sticking to the wetness on her face, masking her darkened eyes. 

            _Amon__… why does it hurt? I was not supposed to fall…_

The last thing she felt before sinking into the merciful blackness was the wind roaring around her, twining around her limbs as though it was alive, screaming through the air like thrown blades.

****

            The sky lit up for a brief moment as if some massive bonfire had been lit, and then disappeared as abruptly as it had started. The people walking in the streets blinked, assumed it must have been a malfunction in the electricity, and continued their tasks.

            The STNJ knew better.

            Miho threw the caution that had stopped her from allowing Amon to drive to the wind and sped towards where the flames had been seen. The man's hand had half-opened the car door despite the fact that it was going at such a speed. The others all knew that if Miho had not turned in that direction, Amon would have thrown himself out of the car and made his way there alone. The tension seemed to crackle around him, and Doujima pressed against her seat as her the hair on the back of her neck seemed to rise.

            Something had changed.

            The brakes screeched as the car skidded to a stop in front of the almost unnoticeable alleyway that had a few tendrils of smoke wafting out. This time Amon did hurtle out of the door before the skidding had stopped. He was in the alley before the others had even gotten out of the car. 

            The wind suddenly rose to a scream, where the night had been still before. It seemed to clash with the walls, even leaving small marks, and it buffeted the others as they ran around the car to catch up. They found they could not even enter, the force of the wind was too strong, and they exchanged looks. _Was this Amon's…?._

Suddenly, the wind dropped off and there was silence. Doujima, Miho and Sakaki pulled the guns from their holders and warily made their way to the opening, slipping into the dark and letting their eyes adjust. 

            Doujima's gun clattered to the pavement as her hands rose to cover her mouth. Amon stood, long dark hair covering his face, over the crumpled body of Robin. Miho let out a soft noise and Sakaki shuddered lightly. The tall, silent man seemed to have no reaction, gazing down at her still form before lowering himself and gently lifting Robin, cradling her broken body in his arms. Blood seeped from her tattered clothing onto his, but he did not seem to notice.

            Miho had opened to her mouth to protest moving her friend, but closed it again, seeing how Amon carried her. He strode out of the alley and went into the car, settling Robin on the backseat and sitting beside her. For the first time since arriving at the scene, he raised his eyes to the others'. 

            "To the hospital." His voice was flat, almost dead. It did not seem like a voice that would come from a living being.

            Miho stepped towards the car to take the wheel, and saw Robin in the electric lights. A strangled sob caught in her throat at the sight, the fragile girl looked as if she had been battered to almost death… white skin stained with drying blood and dirt, horrible gashes and rips. Amon's stare grew sharp, and she hurriedly got in and started the ignition. The question of secrecy was no more – Robin was going to the hospital, there was no alternative in any of their minds.

            Overcome with shock, Doujima and Sakaki wandered back into the alley after Amon and Miho had left. The young woman sank against the wall, burying her face in her knees. Sakaki bent down and picked up an object from the ash-covered floor, lifting it to eye level.

            The moonlight caught on the pair of shattered glasses.


	7. Festering Wounds

A/N: Wow, a new chapter, so quick! Believe it or not, I have had some time to write between training for the horse show and playing massive amounts of Final Fantasy X (which is depressing, why do I play that game, anyway? Oh, yeah. Because Tidus rocks my socks ^.^) Anyway, a quick note. I'm sure a lot of you know that lately, Misora and I were plagiarized. People taking my ideas and copying them almost exactly severely pisses me off. I take time to think these things out – if you want to write something good, then think up your OWN ideas. Thank you.

Second part of author note: Thank you, to a few people: Misora and Kala, as always… to Jen23 and Lady Paranoid (I am not going to put in all those symbols ^.^;) for being particularly thoughtful when writing reviews ^.^ I appreciate it.

            A Handful of Dust

            Part 7: Festering Wounds

_            "Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not   
            Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither   
            Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,   
            Looking into the heart of light, the silence."_

- T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

            Karasuma Miho rested her head against the cold wall, watching the early morning light fill the room, illuminating the stark white paint and glinting off of the varied medical equipment. She disliked hospitals – and yet she found herself spending far too much time in them for comfort. At the moment, she knew she couldn't be anywhere else.

            Doujima stood in a corner, her arms crossed, azure eyes grave as she pondered some issue that Karasuma could not bring herself to ask about. She wasn't really capable of talking, at that moment. Silence had reigned in the room for a long time – but breaking it took too much effort.

            It had been almost a week. Almost a week of staying off and on in that room, with the silence being broken only rarely. Robin, who lay pale and fragile on the bed in the center, had woken several times, but only for mere moments before the sleep-inducing drugs slowly filtering through her blood chased her back into unconsciousness. 

            However, even in that short time, they had not been able to hide from her the fact that Amon was gone. 

            To their shock, Robin had seemed to know immediately, weary eyes gaining a hint of panic, her mouth moving weakly to half-form words before she lost the fight to stay awake. It was clear that it was not physical fear that had her in such a state – they had been hunters long enough to recognize the signs of that. What they had seen in Robin was a helplessness driven by loss and pain – a loss so keenly felt that she recognized it as soon as she opened her eyes. The girl had seemed to feel – somehow – that he was nowhere near. If Karasuma didn't know any better, she would have thought that Robin knew even more than that. But that had to be impossible – she had not been given any information. None of them had.

            Amon was indeed gone. He had not come to the hospital since Robin's condition had been declared stable. All had been relieved to hear that her injuries were not as terrible as they had looked. Not that this provided much reassurance – she had looked like she was dead. 

            He was the only one to not express any relief. In fact, he had not expressed anything at all, waiting only to hear that she was no longer in danger, and then leaving, barely disturbing the air as he went. The _air._ What had that wind been, that night? Had it truly been a manifestation of Amon's power? Was he no longer merely a seed? That perhaps would partly explain his disappearance. Karasuma did not know how he would handle becoming – she steeled herself – a Witch. Because it was true… she could not pretend anymore. None of them could continue their charade. That was why the STNJ had almost imposed exile upon itself – it had become almost defensive, expecting a counterattack. Even though Robin had acted on her own, she had still once been one of their members, and that would most likely be all Solomon cared about.

            Getting into the hospital had not been difficult. The STNJ IDs coupled with the story that the girl had been attacked had gained them swift entry. No more explanations had been asked – hardly anyone asked for things from the STNJ. Besides, Robin had completely destroyed the bodies in her last effort, and Doujima and Sakaki had cleared the area – so police action was avoided. 

            They were, to put it bluntly, stuck. Before, they would have at least had a choice between their jobs and helping Robin. Now – the situation was irreparable, and it had been simply caused by her return. She had told them she had something she needed to do. As time went on, it seemed less and less likely that they others would be able to avoid getting caught up in it. 

           Doujima made a small sound of frustration, and shifted against the wall, drawing the older woman out of her thoughts. "Yurika…" she murmured softly. "Stop it. You know there's not much we can do."

            "I _do _know it! That's why I'm so annoyed!" She huffed, and turned to glare at her friend. 

            Karasuma knew that Doujima felt helpless. Solomon had cut off her contacts, showing clearly that they considered her one of the dangerous, having had interactions with Robin. It wasn't being labeled that bothered her so much – it was not knowing what was going on. Not having information that could possibly be used to help. They were all so used to being busy. Sitting and _waiting_ for something to happen grated on all of their nerves. 

            The blonde woman frowned, gesturing with her head towards the bed. "We don't know what's going on out there, and we don't know what they are going to do to her, and what it's going to mean for us - "

            "I'm sorry."

            The weak confession broke through Doujima's tirade, stalling Karasuma's intent to quiet her. Both turned towards the bed, and Doujima hurried over to the side, looking glad for _something_ to do.

            "Robin-chan, I'm sorry, I woke you…" 

            "No, I was awake. It's all right." 

            Blue eyes studied Robin's still form intently. She was coherent, unlike the times she had awoken before, which was a good sign. However, the young witch kept her face turned to the side, eyes averted and studying the wall without expression. Doujima looked at the deep healing gashes on her face with some sadness. Robin had been severely cut all over her body, and would bear scars for the rest of her life. Thankfully, according to the doctors, her face cuts would heal completely, leaving no mark. This gave Doujima some hope, because part of the reason people became attached to the fire Witch was her quiet, serene look – which would not be the same if she carried visible scars on her pale skin. 

            Karasuma had moved next to them, and reached down to touch Robin's shoulder lightly. "How are you feeling?"

            "Fine, thank you," came the deadened reply.

            The two others exchanged glances, and Doujima opened her mouth to speak warily. "We found you in the alley, Robin, Amon told us where you would have gone, so we followed you."

            They had both picked up on the barely perceptible flinch that had been Robin's reaction to his name. Clearly, she did indeed know something they did not. 

            "Did…." Her head turned, looking up at them. "Did he see?"

            Karasuma nodded. "We all saw, Robin."

            The girl's face tightened, and she turned her gaze away again. Karasuma tried to continue. "We don't know where he is -"

            "I know." Jade eyes met dark ones. "I'm sorry, Karasuma. But I do know. It's my fault."

            "Why would it be -" she cut herself off, mind reeling back to that day two years ago. _He said he would kill her, if the power got out of control._ Karasuma's mouth was suddenly uncomfortably dry. "Robin…"

            "No. Please, no."

            Doujima looked up, motioning for her friend to leave the room with her. She brushed a finger against Robin's hand to try and comfort her before leaving. As they closed the door, Robin's eyes shut tightly, painfully.

            _I did what you told me not to… but you can't leave… you don't understand… _

***

            The phone rang, for the third time that morning. Michael rolled his eyes slightly and spun the chair to pick it up. "Doujima…" he said, exasperated. Trust her to call him when she had nothing else to do. The previous two calls had been made simply because she was bored, and frustrated because of it. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make sure we don't have anyone coming for us."

            "Robin woke up." 

           Her words caused him to suddenly sit up straight, and he pulled the earphones out and let them hang around his neck. "She's awake? Like she was before?"  
            "No, she's really awake now." This would normally be an occasion that would cause Doujima's energy level to rise, but at that moment she sounded sad and pensive, something they still weren't quite used to coming from her.      

            "What's the matter? Something's up."

            "She's just… things aren't going well, Michael."

            "Her health?"

            "No, the doctors say she'll be fine. It's… more than that."

            "Ah. Well, is there something you would like me to find out?" He's hand poised over the keyboard, expecting the usual request to dredge up some piece of information. He was slightly surprised to hear her reply.

            "Actually, if you could find Amon…" she sounded hesitant, as though it might not be a good idea. 

            One eyebrow arched, and his tone held a hint of sarcasm. "Find Amon? Do you forget how successful we were last time we tried that? I can't do that, you know it."

            "Did you try Harry's?"

            "Yeah, I called Master to let him know about Robin. He said he didn't know where Amon was. He told me that without me asking."

            There was a soft snort from the other end of the line. "That doesn't have to be true, however. Just… call him. Tell him she woke up. Maybe… maybe the news will find it's way to Amon."

            _Interesting._It was strange how their circles worked, but somehow, he knew it was really the only plausible idea. "Okay, I'll do it now. Call if Robin says anything important."

           There was a slightly garbled affirmation, and then Doujima hung up, leaving Michael to his computer and his thoughts. 

            And, of course, the phone.

***

            Kobari Yuji, owner of Harry's, known as "Master" to the members of the STNJ, hung up the phone, eyes solemn. So, the young Witch had survived her actions – he was glad. He had made a mistake with his son… he would hate to see the girl meet the same fate. Not turning to look at the figure sitting in the corner, he spoke. "She woke up. Apparently, she's coherent, but there seems to be something bothering the rest of them about her."

            Amon did not respond. For the past week he had been wandering restlessly about the city, fighting with himself, trying to find answers and as usual coming up with nothing. It was only in the past couple of days had he been coming to the restaurant, at a lack of anything decisive to do. Master didn't ask questions – he never did. But he had already known about the fight. Amon hadn't been surprised; he had always known more than people would have thought.

            "Are you going to go to her?" Master's voice still remained passive, non-confrontational. He would never outwardly force them into doing anything.

            "No matter what I decide to do, going there is not something I can avoid." He didn't even know if he wanted to. That night… that night had shaken him, and he was not used to being shaken. Even after all this time spent with her – he was not used to it. Amon stood, and his hair veiled his eyes as he strode towards the door.

            Finally, Master looked up, his mouth a tight line. "Amon."

            The younger man stopped, but did not turn, waiting for him to continue.

            He did not have long to wait. "Wind… can feed a flame, or extinguish it. You need to remember that." He saw the new Witch stiffen, but other than that, there was no visible reaction. 

            "I know that too well."

            With that last statement, he was gone. 

***

            The room wasn't quite as bright anymore. Afternoon was growing older; the once garish beams of light had become dimmer, not as glaring. Robin remained staring at the wall, as she had most of the day. Karasuma and Doujima had tried to talk with her, but her brief responses and clear unwillingness to discuss anything at hand had driven them off several times. 

            She couldn't discuss anything with them, not yet. There was only one person who deserved to know such things, and he was not there. She did not even know what he would do if he was. Although… even though she knew, what his intent might be – for some strange, unknown reason, she was not afraid. She felt almost resigned. Her move had been made – it was his turn. If only she could tell what it would be…

            Would he kill her? She didn't know, and it seemed to be too much effort to think about. He would do what he felt necessary, he always did. She was in no condition to do anything about it. He would have to let her apologize; first, she would have to do that…

            Robin had overheard the two other women talking while they thought she was asleep. They had spoken of Amon's power… his wind, his manipulation of the air. So, he had awoken, he had become what he had opposed for so long. She wasn't really surprised by what it was, now that she knew. It wasn't something she would have guessed before, but now… it made sense. Why he could go places with people not noticing. Why he could blend into crowds, people's eyes seeming to glide over him, through him, not really registering his presence. And what she had felt, before the darkness… after piecing together what she had been told about him seeing her there – it had to have been him. A wind like that was not natural. She wondered if maybe Amon was worrying about his control over the power the way he had worried over hers.

            Robin rolled over and faced the other wall, ignoring the sharp pain of pulled injuries. She deserved to feel them, she had been stupid. It would have been very easy for her to have been killed there. A small creak indicated the opened door. She could not hear anyone come in, but she assumed it was the others checking in on her again. "I'm fine," she said softly. "I don't need anything."

            When she received no response, her head lifted a little to look back over her shoulder, and she saw Amon, standing by the wall, quietly watching her. She felt no panic, no fear, and no dread. Only a calm acceptance. She moved to roll completely onto her back so that she could face him. To talk with him… that had been what she had wanted, wasn't it? "I am sorry. You must hate me now."

            His face held no expression, but his eyes held something undecipherable… something that almost broke her out of her stoic state. She did not want to be broken out – in this state, she felt no fear, no anger, no guilt. No sadness. She did not want to be sad. "I… did what you said not to, because I felt it was my duty to do so. I thought I could handle it, I was wrong. Because of it… I used too much power." _He knew all that. Why was she telling him?_

_            Because he deserves to hear it from me. He deserves that much._

"I am… sorry. Whatever you intend to do, I wanted you to know that."  
            Robin closed her glimmering eyes and waited, waited for him to say something, to do something. When nothing happened she opened them again, seeing that he had not moved from his position. His head was bent slightly, allowing his long hair to cover more of his face. 

            "Amon." 

            Perhaps it was hearing his name from her that changed him. She would never know, and neither would he. All they both knew was that in that moment, their gazes had locked, and she found in his eyes no menace, no hatred. Anger, hurt, things she would not have been able to get from him before. But… nothing that would have driven him to harm her. Ever.

            With a few, easy long strides, he reached the bed, and lifted her as easily as he had the night in the alley. Her mouth worked in shock, but he simply settled back against the metal end of the bed and pulled her against him. His warmth quickly filled her cold skin, and the gashes under the bandages seemed to lessen their aching. He did nothing but hold her there, head bowed so she could not see his expression. Where his hands rested against her arm, his tense fingers left small imprints, enough to convey a sort of desperation, a break in the perfectly built mask he had survived under for so long. A hunter, fallen to his own hounds. 

            Guilt surged through Robin.

            _His world had fallen down, and it was her fault._

            She was unable to deny the comfort his returned presence brought her, and she slowly tried to bring her arms up, but found her injuries didn't allow her to do so, so she settled with resting them between them, against his chest. "I'm sorry, Amon, I -"

            "Be _quiet._" His voice was unlike she had heard it before, and never was she able to describe it, even to herself. It was, however, an undeniable command, and it being the first thing he had said in response to her shattered the numb state she had been in. To her pure horror, she began to cry, and the tears would not stop… tears of guilt, and pain, anger at herself and at her destiny. She cried for him, because he could not. His control had broken, but it would take a long time yet for him to be able to shed tears. Robin was young, she still could, and she gave up trying to stop it. Amon held her, unmoving, a solid, constant presence, letting her tears soak the dark material of his shirt. His command held, and for the rest of that time, Robin did not speak a word. They remained motionless, simply being healed through their renewed connection. It was one that they did not seem to be able to break – whether they wished it or not. They, too, were stuck. Stuck in a destiny that did not allow them much peace, but for that time, at least, they found some in the silence.

_"Piece by piece, and bit by bit  
I'll break this down for you, real slow  
But I can't whisper all of this  
and I can't seem to let this go  
  
So I'll watch the matches, turn to ashes  
I'll watch the matches, turn to ashes  
  
I can tell its your turn, I smell the sulfur so clear  
and fire's a beautiful sound  
and the wings that you burn turn to ashes my dear  
and ashes just fall to the ground  
Yeah, we're only ashes  
  
Part and part and inch by inch  
You'll have your mile when it's through  
Incinerate what's left of this  
and torch the part of me that's you  
  
So I'll watch the matches, turn to ashes  
  
I can tell it's your turn, I smell the sulfur so clear  
and fire's a beautiful sound  
and the wings that you burn turn to ashes my dear  
and ashes just fall to the ground  
Yeah we're only ashes  
  
I can tell it's your turn, I smell the sulfur so clear  
and fire's a beautiful sound  
and the wings that you burn turn to ashes my dear  
and ashes just fall to the ground  
Yeah we're only ashes…."_

- Something Corporate, "Only Ashes"


	8. Existence

oA/N: I know, I know, you don't need to tell me! I'm a horrible, horrible person for waiting this long to update. I'm sorry, but there were a few things I had to take care of, such as graduating, working 8 hours a day, life issues, general not fun stuff. (I can assure you I'd much rather write about our beloved Robin-chan than be at my job. Not my choice!) Not to mention Harry Potter sort of took over my fandom life and distracted me. (H/Hr fan pride! I know, I'm in the minority. Shaddup. ) But anyway, I'm back, with more Robin.

This is really a filler-ish chapter. Robin needs time to recuperate before more stuff starts up .

A Handful of Dust

Part 8: Existence

_"Datta: What have we given?_

_My friend, blood shaking my heart_

_The awful daring of a moment's surrender_

_Which an age of prudence can never retract_

_By this, and this only, we have existed."_

- T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

"Good morning."

Robin lay without opening her eyes for a moment, before quietly responding. "Good morning."

Miho smiled and leaned down to her friend. The fragile girl looked much better, her skin warm to the touch and her hair seeming to regain it's brilliant, unique color. They had been worried the first few days, for she had looked so washed out, so faded. With her recovery, her spirit seemed to return, which reassured everyone around her. The members of the STNJ had visited often as a matter of course – there was usually one of them there at the hospital. They all claimed it was for moral support; but quick glances and hesitations gave away that they were worried. They did not want to leave her alone, not when she was a target. Even if it _was_ the hospital, and supposedly safe.

They knew she wasn't fooled. But they kept up the façade, finding in it a security that seemed to be necessary to comprehend what might lie ahead of them. It was all "might", for no one knew. That was the hardest part – not knowing what consequences were in store for them. They had nothing to prepare for, to harden themselves against. It was a waiting game.

It had been somewhat of a surprise when Miho had walked through the hallway to Robin's room several weeks before, and had passed by Amon, who was leaving. None of them had expected him to come to the hospital. After his powers had developed, they had figured he would hide – go anywhere except to his "ward". She would now represent another dilemma for him. He was supposed to keep her power from getting out of control, and now he had his own. It had been thought that he would leave, unable to do what he had claimed. After that day, however, the slightly panicked look in Robin's eyes had vanished. Miho did not know what the connection between them was, or what sort of effect. But it did _something._

Something had changed between them. He was _not _leaving. In fact, whenever one of them ran into him, he behaved as if his being a Witch had never been revealed. As if he was the same hunter that had disappeared a year and a half ago. This was why they knew that something had indeed changed. If it hadn't, he wouldn't be trying so hard to show otherwise.

The older woman's attention snapped back when Robin opened her eyes, looking back up at her. She motioned to the tray sitting by the bed. "Are you hungry? I brought you some breakfast."

"Ah!" Robin gingerly stretched and then pushed herself into a sitting position, managing not to wince. Her wounds were almost healed, but they did twinge now and again when she made sudden movements. "Arigatou, Karasuma. You… don't always have to be here, I'm okay by myself."

Miho did not miss the flicker of jade eyes as she made that statement, and kept speaking, knowing Robin would notice if she tried to cover up. "Yurika said she'd drop by this afternoon – you remember what day it is tomorrow, right?"

The pale girl had been about to take a sip of the tea, but lowered the cup at that comment. She turned, blinking. "Day?"

A small chuckle greeted this response. "Has all this sleep made you forgetful? You leave the hospital tomorrow! The doctors have cleared your release." _You have to leave the security here. We have to take you back, but no matter where you are, we will not be able to guarantee that you are safe. _She was unable to keep her cheerful tone, but she hoped her friend hadn't noticed.

She had. "Karasuma, am I going to-"

"Raven's Flat? Yes. For now. Everyone's there, after all, it's best if we don't have to all gather somewhere else."

Robin sighed, her food untouched. "I know I'm in danger. You don't have to keep pretending that this is normal."

"Sometimes it's easier to pretend."

Silence followed those words, and Miho gestured to the food, indicating for her to eat. Robin did so, at a loss of anything else to do. With her mouth half full of bread, she continued to question. "Am I being picked up?"

"No, we're sending a taxi. None of us can go with you in the taxi, so that as few people as possible are made aware of your connections to the STN. We will be following in another car." _Just in case._

Robin paused. "We?"

"Amon and I."

"Ah."

The weather was still sunny the next day, and Robin raised a hand to shade her eyes as she stepped out of the hospital, assisted by one of the nurses. She really didn't need the help, but couldn't summon the energy to ask them to leave her be. It was probably best – she hadn't been walking for a long time, and she did feel lightheaded. Doujima had needed to help her that morning, for when she got up she was hit with a wave of nausea – which was to be expected for someone who had been confined to a bed. Robin hid a grimace at the memory of her healing; the pain had gotten worse before it got better, and in the beginning she had needed to be almost unconscious with painkillers in order for the bandages to be changed. Whatever was ahead of them, she was glad _that _part was over.

She turned, half-heartedly looking for the car Miho and Amon would be using, knowing she wouldn't see it until she actually got to Raven's Flat. It would be strange going there again – the last time she had been there, had been when Juliano had some to tell her about her origins. She shook off her memories abruptly as the taxi drove up – one of the same green ones that went around the whole city.

The nurse opened the door, and Robin slipped inside, grateful to be away from "helping hands". It was clear the driver already knew her destination, for he started off without saying a word to her. She didn't really mind – it wasn't as though she had a penchant for conversation, either. The silence was perfectly fine as far as she was concerned.

However, when she wasn't talking, her mind sank back into her thoughts. They had been strange, even to her, and she had dealt with many strange times in her life. After the night when she had fallen asleep crying in Amon's arms – even _that_ sounded surreal, and her mind did a double-take every time she thought back to it – she had awoken to find him gone. It wasn't unexpected, but it did sadden her a little. She hadn't needed to worry, however, because he visited regularly afterwards. They never talked about the attack, or the time immediately after. It wasn't awkward, not really. They had spent a year and a half without bringing up the subject of the STN… avoiding subjects was not new to them. They didn't talk much, but that wasn't new, either. What she was glad about was that the comfortable connection between them had not changed. They still responded automatically to each other's actions and comments. He did not treat her differently after her display of power, and she did the same about his becoming a witch.

After all – at first, she had assumed he _was_ one. Perhaps that assumption had just never gone away, and the proof had just decided to manifest itself. He had always been strong enough to be a witch, even without power.

One thing that was different was he now touched her more often than he had, sometimes laying a hand on her shoulder or arm, or lifting her chin with a finger to study her face – looking for signs of discomfort. If he found any, a doctor appeared soon after, much to her bewilderment. It didn't feel odd, because she was so used to him. He just hadn't needed the contact so much before.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize when they had arrived, and only looked up with the driver coughed meaningfully. "Oh! Gomen…" She opened the door and stepped out carefully, ending up looking at the building, standing in front of the gates. It felt much like it did the first day she stood there, on a mission from the headquarters, never imagining what was in store for her. Perhaps it wasn't that different now – she did have no idea what was ahead.

"Robin-san!" The gate guard hurried out from the doorway, but was quickly passed by another figure.

"Oy, Robin!" Sakaki stopped in front of the gate, grinning widely. He opened it and she walked in, returning his smile. "You feeling better?"

"Yes, much."

"Good. Come inside. Amon and Karasuma are coming in from the garage entrance."

She nodded, and followed him inside, moving more slowly than he was in order to readjust herself to her surroundings.

"Did you eat?"

"I had breakfast at the hospital."

Sakaki pulled a face. "Then you didn't _really _eat. Oh well, I'm sure Michael will probably have something."

_If he changed his eating habits._ From what she remembered, what the hacker had to eat was usually a bag of chips and a soda. Not that she was complaining – Sakaki was right, chips and soda were a sight better than the hospital fare.

They entered the main room and Michael looked up, removing his earphones. "Hi!" She smiled warmly back at her oldest friend from the team and took her seat opposite him. Her eyes appraised the computer equipment he had in front of him. _More wires? I didn't know he could attach any more!_

He noticed where she was looking and grinned. "I now have an even better security net. Yep, I made this system much harder to crack."

"Oh yes, rain praise upon him." Sakaki rolled his eyes and sat down. At that moment, Miho, Amon, and Doujima entered the room, the latter two having an easy conversation, Amon following behind like some sort of apparition. He moved to stand near her, and Miho took a chair. Doujima raised one eyebrow at Amon as she passed him, and stayed standing.

It wasn't really noticeable, but the way the team reacted to Amon was a little different. Not much, but they didn't meet his eyes as often, and dropped a conversation when he started to speak. Even after this time, they didn't seem quite used to the idea of his power.

"Where am I going to stay?" She asked, looking around, feeling quite like she had just experienced a displacement of time.

"Well, for now, here." Doujima was the one to reply. "We found a room and fixed it up for you. Do you have any idea how many rooms are in the place? I mean, I never really thought about it, but it's really quite a large building – many of the rooms aren't even used!"

Robin was slightly taken aback. "I'm going to live here?"

"We don't know for how long, Robin." Miho spoke quietly.  "But right now it seems best. Amon's staying here, too. We can hide you better here."

_Hide us? But this is the first place they'd look for us…_ She caught Amon's eye, and understood immediately. No, it was not the first place. They didn't know yet if headquarters was aware that they had contacted the STNJ. Maybe they thought that she was just running around by herself. They wouldn't have even known that she had been injured, if she had destroyed all the hunters they had sent at the time.

And Amon was staying there as well? That was strange; it seemed almost like caging him. He shifted so that his arm touched her shoulder, and she knew that somehow he'd continue to keep searching for information, regardless of restraints.

_We're going to live in a place that's a part of what we are trying to destroy. Wonderful._

Her mood seemed to catch on, and soon everyone was turning to watch her. Sakaki spoke. "We don't know what you're planning to do, Robin. What _is _it?"

She looked around at them. They deserved a truthful answer from her, if anyone did. Amon remained silent, and she steadfastly kept from glancing back at him. Did she even have any answers to offer them?

"I don't honestly know. I.. hoped you could help me figure that out."


	9. Council of War

A/N: Hey there! I know, I know, it's been forever. Sorry. I started college and then was eaten by my addiction to FMA and Chrno Crusade. But I started to feel really guilty about ignoring Robin, so today I pulled out a notebook in lecture and started to write. Here is the result. I looked back over the fic and think the previous chapters are quite bad, actually – something I hope to improve with new chapters. Although, looking at this one, I did not succeed. If I have time, I'll go back and fix the previous chapters so they aren't so crappy. A big thank you to you guys, for sticking with me even though it's been so long. I hope you enjoy. Oh – and for those asking if this will be Amon/Robin? It most certainly will. Sorry, but I'm taking their romance slow.

A Handful of Dust

Part 9: Council of War

_Dayadhvam: I have heard the key_

_Turn in the door once and turn once only_

_We think of the key, each in his prison_

_Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison_

_Only at nightfall, aetherial rumors_

_Revive for a moment a broken Coriolanus._

- T.S. Eliot "The Waste Land"

Robin wandered around the small bedroom after waking, combing her fingers through her hair and trying to get over her bemusement. She hadn't even known Raven's Flat _had _bedrooms. Neither had the others, if their reactions to her new living space were any indication. Doujima had told her they had found a room, but she had expected a closet with a made-up couch, not an actual bedroom. Kosaka had merely muttered something about the building originally being a mansion.

"_Why didn't Michael get a room, then?" Robin inquired, puzzlement clear on her face. Michael had been the only one not surprised by the sudden discovery of the bedrooms, and he stood with his arms crossed in the doorway._

"_I did, sometimes," he replied. "I can't stay at the computer _all _the time, much as I try."_

"_But I had to sleep on the couch," Not that she would have noticed if she was on a couch or a bed, with the state her mind been in, but still._

"_You needed to be monitored!" Kosaka informed her defensively. "We couldn't let you out of eyesight after the attack in the apartment. Besides, we use the rooms so rarely, sometimes we forget they're there. And there were a lot of things going on at the time."_

So, she had ended up in the very dusty, unused room. The walls were a nondescript grey with have faint imprints on them, perhaps remnants of long-removed wallpaper. A floral pattern, maybe, or imitation marble. There were probably many things the building had seen and looked like before it became the workplace of the STNJ. The twin bed was covered by a simple white sheet, but when she pressed on it, the mattress was soft and comfortable, unlike the cheap ones she had encountered in so many hotel rooms. There was nothing else in the room, no sink, table, or chairs – but there was a bathroom next door, so that wasn't much of a problem.

Amon had a room nearby, but she wasn't sure which one it was yet. He had a tendency to make his living space look as though it had never been inhabited, so the rooms didn't _look _any different when she glanced in, which made it impossible for her to tell which one was his. This had provided for some panicky moments at the beginning of their wanderings when she had woken up to find herself alone in the hotel room, without any sign that Amon had ever been there. After this had happened continuously, she had stopped fearing that he'd abandoned her. He always came back, usually at the very moment when she was about to go out and look for him.

She hid a smile. Amon was naturally restless, but it had kept them safe for those years. Maybe it would help again.

The previous day's conversation had yielded nothing particularly useful. It didn't help that everyone seemed tentative about openly aiding her – it wasn't an easy thing to do, and if they decided not to join her, she couldn't really hold it against them. She was asking them to turn their lives around just to help her, and she knew it. It was bad enough that they were being uncomfortably forced into that position due to SOLOMON's knowledge that she was nearby. Besides, the moment she had made the decision, she had been prepared to go it alone.

_Oh yes, and that's turned out wonderfully, _her mind retorted, which made her wince inwardly. She still did not know if Amon forgave her for going on her own that night. She had tried to tentatively bring it up several times in the past day, but he had flat out refused to even respond to any questions surrounding her attack. Her words seemed to roll off him, as though she had not said anything at all. It stung slightly, but she knew him well enough to take the hint and stop asking. He rarely talked about anything personal, and when he did, nothing could make him say anything before he was ready. 'Rarely' was actually an understatement. She knew this, and was used to it – which was partly why it had taken so long for them to decide to return in the first place. They had simply never broached the topic – it was like staring at a sheer rock wall, trying to find some foothold to haul herself over. Yes, she was used to it, but sometimes… it was hard to take. Footholds would appear, but some would vanish, too… leaving her stumbling and frightened, so frightened that she had finally said the thing that would send him away from her. Silence had been their protection. She had also stopped asking about the night partly because when she did, he would not touch her for a while afterward – the small, casual touches that he had been using so often as of late. He would distance himself from her, and she would feel incredibly guilty for causing it. More than that, she simply wasn't used to the distance anymore – for so long, he had always been near. But reliably, he came back, as he always had.

One thing that was clear, though, was that there would be no more excursions without Amon's presence or approval. No words were needed to decide _that. _

She had thought she had been sparing him from the consequences of her own duty – but in fact she had pointedly ignored his advice and disrespected his decision to protect her. It was only while lying in the hospital bed did she realize quite to the extent that she had wronged him. Even if he wasn't saying anything… she hoped he had forgiven her. She would try and make it up to him, as much as she could… her responsibility came first, but she hated the idea of angering Amon. He had told her when she had first decided to return, that he would not try and stop her unless her power went out of control. She wondered if he also expected her to stop _him _if he did the same. If he had thought of that, it was yet another of the things he wasn't saying.

_What am I thinking… he's not the one who needs to be monitored. It's still me. Even now._

The others had been slightly put off to discover that Robin did not have some grand plan to take on SOLOMON.

"How are we supposed to decide what to do if _you _don't even know what your intentions are?" Doujima had demanded, pushing her hair away from her face irritably.

It was a fair question, but Robin had still felt mildly resentful. She had just made the choice herself, there hadn't exactly been much time to plan. It had been such a taboo thought, her mind had danced around it before she finally made herself face it. At first she had thought that her former teammates would have wanted nothing to do with attacking SOLOMON, but after being around them again she was reminded of just who they were. They _had _done it before, so it wasn't unthinkable to them to try it again. Of course, this would be on a much larger scale. She wasn't merely going after one man's corrupt operation. It seemed apparent, and regrettable, to her that they were trying to convince themselves that they could help Robin without completely destroying their lifestyles. A change, like Kosaka had said. Robin did not know if such an optimistic idea was possible – on the other hand, she did not know if _anything _was possible when it came to SOLOMON. She certainly hadn't had much luck thus far. The only thing she could do was hope that when they finally realized what they would be giving up, they wouldn't turn on her for it.

Which was why it was with a certain sense of trepidation that she walked down the hall to meet them again, gathered around Michael's desk. They looked up expectantly when she walked in, and she took a deep breath.

"I think… we need some more information. About the different strategies and methods used by each branch." Robin didn't raise her head, afraid she'd see consternation in their eyes.

The first one to speak was Michael. "Okay. It'll take a bit, though."

Robin looked up, startled, as the clack of the keys began. Normally Michael would go to a task with a confident air that it would be finished quickly. He noticed her reaction before she could cover her surprise.

"What? They're watching us, Robin. Have been since Factory. They don't trust us."

She had almost forgotten…"But… you were helped by SOLOMON to go against Zaizen -"

"Yes," Yurika broke in, looking a bit exasperated at having to explain. Clearly she thought Robin should already know. "But it still proved that we would go against the one with authority. We did it with their help, but not at first. We decided on our own. Now they think we might do the same to them."

"And if we go through with this, we will," Amon commented dryly. All went silent, and even the computer keys paused for a moment. Somehow, hearing it come from the man who had once been their most prominent hunter made it all that much more real, more inevitable.

It quickly became uncomfortable, and to break the tension, Robin turned to Michael again. "So… you can't do it?"

He snorted. "Oh, I can _do _it. It will just take a bit longer than any of us will like."

"Depending on how tight their security nets are, of course," Miho added. "They may have their eye on us, but that doesn't mean they seriously consider us a threat."

Michael shrugged, dog-tags around his neck rattling. "It's possible. But they do know Robin is in the city, so it won't be long before they try to investigate us."

Haruto leaned back in his chair, balancing as he looked inquisitively at Robin. "Why do we need the information on the separate branches?"

"There is no way to go directly to SOLOMON, not when it still has so much support," Amon responded flatly. Robin wasn't surprised that he had understood. "We need to know about the other branches in order to -"

"Neutralize them," Yurika breathed, and looked at Robin, who stayed silent with her eyes cast to the floor.

Haruto lurched forward. "There is no way we are trotting around the world to take on all the separate branches!" He said indignantly.

"We won't need to," Michael interrupted, typing furiously. "If we can get their information, then I can break into their systems. I can hinder the delivery or quality of weapons, supplies, computers – block access to Witch records or police files. Once I know their specific needs, I can render them helpless."

"You were caught hacking into SOLOMON before," Amon pointed out.

Michael allowed himself a laugh. "I _work _for them now. I know better."

"That doesn't leave much for anyone else to do," said Robin, looking rather bewildered at having her mission rather efficiently taken out from under her.

"Don't be ridiculous. If we're found out, we're dead. And we _know _SOLOMON is sending agents into the city. You guys have to make sure they don't learn anything. Which means we have to feign having the same problems as the other branches, so they don't figure out that we are the only one unaffected."

"Am I to hide, then?" Robin interjected quietly.

The young hacker raised an eyebrow at her. "Why? They already know you're here. Well, not _here _here, but in the city. What you have to do is make sure they never guess you are connected with us. Don't give them any reason to look at the STNJ. And if you notice them getting suspicious, distract them. Blow up something." When she gave him a pointed look, he raised his hands defensively. "Hey! If they start looking at us, something is going to need to draw their eyes somewhere else. And if we are assigned to look into it, that'll look all the less suspicious for us."

"In other words… arrange a hunt for her," Amon said, voice hard.

Several of them stiffened, and Michael hastened to reassure him. "Only in appearance! We won't actually hunt her, but we'll need to go out for show, so that SOLOMON thinks we're doing our job."

He stopped, and looked at Robin seriously. "It will seem like the rest of us are doing a lot now, but when we get to the end… it will all be on you. We won't be able to help much at all then."

She nodded, trying to ignore the sudden surge of vulnerability.

"As for the hunts…. they'll have to continue," murmured Miho. Robin looked at her, wary despite herself, and the older woman returned her gaze calmly. "It's the only way to be inconspicuous. We can only go after those causing trouble – and when the other branches start having trouble with their hunts, then we can start to drag our feet, too."

"You haven't been going after the innocent?" she asked, voice slightly pointed.

Miho's smile was almost bitter. "After what we've seen? With you? No. We put it off unless SOLOMON gives us a direct order, which is rare. They don't usually waste their time with us. Robin… somebody needs to keep the Witches under control."

"They don't need to _kill _them," replied the girl, a hint of steel creeping into her tone.

"No. But that's what you're here to fix, isn't it?" Her voice sounded strange, and Robin quieted pensively. Did Miho still have her power? It had been dwindling when she left… Miho had been a Witch, something she had needed to accept, but if her power was gone, then…

Then maybe she would not want to be involved anymore.

It wasn't long before no one had anything new to offer to the conversation, and Michael shooed them from the room. "We're got enough to start with – standing around here won't help!"

Robin followed Miho out, intending to stop her and speak with her. She was just trying to figure out how to do that when they reached one of the outer rooms, and the older woman turned around, brows raised expectantly. "Well?"

She blinked, surprised. "What?"

Miho's smile was knowing, and just a little amused. "You've changed, Robin, but not that much. You want to ask me something, I can tell."

Robin lowered her eyes, caught. She had to stop forgetting that these people had known her, that she couldn't treat them the same way she would a stranger and expect them to fall for it. "Then, you probably know what it is I am going to ask."

"Let's hear it from you." The look in her eyes said clearly '_You're going to have to learn to take initiative sometime, might as well start now.'_

"…Your power. Do you…" she looked up at Miho's impassive face. She clearly knew what Robin was trying to say, but she made no move to finish the sentence for her. "…still have it?"

Luckily, the answer was blissfully quick. "Sometimes. …Rarely, to be more honest. Never when I need it. Never when I try." An undercurrent of resentment crept into her voice. "It shows up when it's useless, to tell me things as trivial who last stepped into the store I am entering. But if I _need _to know who that person was, then it doesn't work."

Robin frowned, but not because of Miho's clear frustration. Could it be? Could it be that… Miho had… well, if she had, she clearly wasn't aware of it.

The woman snorted. "I'm useless in the hunts, now."

"Your sight was not the only thing that made you a good hunter," Robin murmured.

Miho gave her a sharp look. "But it was the most important."

She looked away. "Then… do you not want to…"

"The STN is all I know, Robin. That's why right now, I know what they are doing is wrong. Because of those like you, Amon…" she hesitated, but Robin still heard the unspoken word. _Me. _"But I still believe that some Witches need to be stopped. I've seen enough results of that, too."

"I'm not arguing against that," Robin tried to protest. "I just… this… there are things that have to stop, and -" _it has to be me that does it._

"I know."

Amon was waiting for her outside, leaning easily against the wall. She was to spend as little time at the STNJ as possible, in order to lessen the risk. It went without saying for Amon, too – sometimes it was easy to overlook the fact that he also had been considered missing. She knew he was probably itching to search for agents – he would not be calm until he at least knew where some of them were. Amon and Robin were, for a time, to return to their previous lifestyle. Her walking, him shadowing, avoiding sight as much as they could. They would stay away from the most dangerous areas. It was a little comforting, to return to such a familiar routine, but at the same time… she was almost disappointed. She did not really want to go back.

When she laid eyes on him, the urge to beg forgiveness rose again in her throat. She fought it down, mentally berating herself. He had made it clear he did not want to hear her bring it up again. She wondered if she would be able to keep the remorse out of her face as she walked up to him. _Please, please, are you angry?_

Apparently her attempt at hiding her worry failed miserably, because he paused when he saw her expression, lips tight. She was about to open her mouth to apologize – _again _– when his right hand suddenly reached out to rest on her cheek, stilling her words. Two fingers gently ran along the locks that framed her face, leather pressing into her skin as they did, his eyes dark as though deep in thought. He lingered for a moment, and then, barely audible, she heard him murmur, "No." As quickly as he had reached towards her, he pulled away, and she half lifted her arm as though to grab him back as he glided towards the other side of the street.

Robin watched him go, and suddenly wished fervently that he hadn't been wearing gloves.


End file.
